As announced yesterday, today brings the second part of my mini-series \u201cFinding Mr. Right.\u201d This time, it\u2019s all about how I find the needle in the haystack \u2013 or at least try to. Recognizing a secure attachment style in someone you’ve just met can be a challenge. That\u2019s the hardest part. However, there are clues and behaviors that can indicate someone is securely attached. Here are some tips on how to find out:<\/p>\n
Example questions you can ask your date:<\/strong><\/p>\n From Drama to Dharma<\/strong> That all sounds pretty reasonable. But where, please, are these securely attached men hiding? Finding the right place and method to meet someone with a secure attachment style can be just as important as recognizing the traits of a secure attachment style itself. Here are a few tips, although I have to admit that a good dose of luck is probably also involved. That\u2019s something I seem to have been missing so far:<\/p>\n Shared Interests and Hobbies<\/strong><\/p>\n \tPeople with a secure attachment style are often open and interested in new activities. Here are a few possibilities:<\/p>\n Finding a Secure Attachment Style in Online Dating?<\/strong><\/p>\n That leaves us with online dating platforms, and they truly are a category of their own. Just recently, I read that 42% of profiles on Tinder & Co. belong to married men or those who are at least in a relationship. Either they want to test their market value or save money on a prostitute.<\/p>\n At the end of my post today, let me share a little story about my latest experience (laughter allowed).<\/p>\n With a Lasso to Happiness? \u2013 A (Not So) Modern Fairy Tale About the Dream Man Who Wasn\u2019t<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Sometimes I wonder if the universe is playing a trick on us \u2013 especially when it comes to online dating. It\u2019s like a modern fairy tale: You browse through profiles like a window shop full of shoes, and then, suddenly, there he is \u2013 the dream man. He looks good, is charming, and talks about deep feelings and the desire for a serious relationship. But as it turns out, fairy tales are not always what they seem.<\/p>\n David \u2013 no, of course, that\u2019s not his real name, but let\u2019s use it for now \u2013 seemed like the perfect candidate, at least at first glance. Tall, charming, with a penchant for deep conversations about real life. But appearances can be deceiving, as I unfortunately discovered.<\/p>\n From the very first meeting, David made it clear that he wanted to capture his future partner with a lasso \u2013 metaphorically speaking, of course. He had clear ideas about how his life should go, and a woman who didn\u2019t immediately fall in line with his plans had no chance with him.<\/p>\n And then it started: The first words out of his mouth were not compliments or polite greetings but a snarky remark that I was arrogant. Why? Because apparently, I focus too much on my appearance and intelligence. \u201cI don\u2019t care about looks and education,\u201d he said with a smile that could only be described as condescending. And then the kicker: \u201cI didn\u2019t even bother to shower or dress properly for this meeting.\u201d Wow, if that isn\u2019t a sign of respect!<\/p>\n And the best part? He also openly admitted that his manner of speaking was \u201csnarky.\u201d Well, at least he was honest about that. But I have to admit, there are more pleasant things to hear on a first date. One would think he might have at least tried to make a good impression, but no \u2013 apparently, it was part of his charm to bluntly tell you not to think too highly of yourself.<\/p>\n The icing on the cake? If you present yourself online in stylish pictures, he simply doesn\u2019t respond. Because he can\u2019t stand self-impressed blondes who focus only on their looks. And from a \u201cstrained conversation,\u201d as he puts it, he had had enough \u2013 he wanted it casual and effortless. Sounds like a real dream man, right?<\/p>\n Of course, there was always this subtle accusation that I should conform to his wishes. In his eyes, the countryside was the perfect place to start a family, and I should leave my city life behind, hop on the next train, and move in with him and his snake. After all, it was my job to be available whenever it suited him. Ah, the fairy tale of the prince and his fair maiden seemed a bit different in my memory.<\/p>\n So, ladies, if you come across a fairy tale prince with a lasso next time, think carefully about whether you really want to be captured. Maybe it\u2019s better to focus on the shoes in the window \u2013 they do exactly what they\u2019re supposed to and look damn good while doing it. And who knows, maybe the real fairy tale is waiting around the next corner \u2013 without a lasso and snarky remarks.<\/p>\n Despite it all, I remain hopeful that Mr. Emotionally Available will come my way. It\u2019s just a matter of time \u2013 and my patience \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As announced yesterday, today brings the second part of my mini-series \u201cFinding Mr. Right.\u201d This time, it\u2019s all about how I find the needle in the haystack \u2013 or at least try to. Recognizing a secure attachment style in someone you’ve just met can be a challenge. That\u2019s the hardest part. However, there are clues and behaviors that can indicate<\/p>\n\n
\nEven though there\u2019s no guarantee of immediately recognizing someone with a secure attachment style, these clues and behaviors can help you better assess whether your new acquaintance is securely attached. Trust your gut feeling and pay attention to how comfortable and safe you feel in their presence. Ultimately, a secure attachment style often reveals itself through a balanced, respectful, and loving way of interacting with each other.<\/p>\n\n
\n Friends and networking: Recommendations and introductions from friends can be very helpful, as friends often share similar values. True. But unfortunately, they also don\u2019t have any eligible, securely attached men in their circles. And if they did, well, they\u2019d probably have snapped them up themselves.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n